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Wellness for Women Over 40: Part 5

Feminine Identity

· Child Abuse,self esteem,Women Over 40

I am not my sister's keeper. I am my sister. I am you!


There are so many nasty stigmas floating around in society and the world over, about women. Such things that make the air waves are the thoughts that a black woman is always angry, enraged, and deemed, a mad black woman. Then you have caucasian women who are thought of as bimbos, hence deemed either a groupie or a jump off. Moving on to asian women, who are more focused on their own itineraries such a gaining independence, becoming what men call mind assassins. If these images aren't already demeaning, what about the way people put down latin women and refer to them as the maid, or hired help? What do we have to say about all of these stereotypes about women of all races and nationalities? I say, it's high time we realize that people will be who they are and inflict their harmful opinions whether we like it or not, hence, it's time to acquire some thick skin, and fight back with a changed character, and mindset. Your best revenge is a redeemed spirit, and godly character. There is no better way to show the world who you really and that is to show and be the real you!

Small minds discuss people, great minds discuss ideas!

The Bible says that our words should be seasoned with salt, and full of grace! (Colossians 4:6) We all will have an opinion or personal thoughts about one another, but as long as it's not in a way to tear down a person or bear false witness then it's okay to share your thoughts on any topic, for all things that occur under the sun affect each and every one of us. We must not stifle or muzzle the groanings of those who are less fortunate, are in danger or faint of heart for it is through them that we learn patience, and empathy. It is vital that we listen to what our children have to say and not accuse them of lying just because we don't want our secrets revealed or shame exposed. Often times young children, girls and boys are treated with no regard as to their awareness of life and how they feel. Children are lied to, abused in all manner shape and form and are made to believe that the wrong doing of the abuser is their fault.

Many young victims are made to feel that they are less than, confused, or crazy. They are often ostracized and treated as if they weren't even human. It is important to have a village of people who are supportive, involved and attentive to the needs of the developing young minds. Their hormones are raging and they have trouble identifying with who they are, who to trust, and what to believe. They need to know that their truth is important in order for them to heal. Who is willing to help them become free? We need more people to step up to be mentors, intercessors, and advocates for young girls and boys. Have we forgotten that we were once young, and had to deal with raging hormones, crushes, awkwardness, masterbation, pms, emotional imbalance, social behaviors, peer pressure, bullying, promiscuity, incest, childhood illnesses, self-esteem and self-worth issues, etc? 

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The Bible tells us to remember the creator in the days of our youth. (Ecclesiastes 12:1) This means that we need His help to manage our environment, our fears, our doubts, and how to identify with His plan for our lives. This type of relationship should be cultivated at a very young age. The most structured, and fundamentally sound individuals have been known to have an early introduction to Christ, His teachings and requirements for righteous living. Young people need to come to the knowledge early on that they are worthy of their own energy, time and attention, so as to not waste time with listening to people who are pessimistic, resentful, and damaged themselves. Truthfully, the blind cannot lead the blind. So beware of false teachers and fake friends! Further, people of all ages need to know that the wounds of their past no longer define them. It's time to let go!

Your identity belongs to you, no one owns it. You are who you are. Get used to being you and no one else. It's time to love you. Teach your children the same thing. It doesn't matter where you are from, your race, nationality, financial status, educational status etc. Strive to be the best you each day, with God's help you can and you will. Say this, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

"Stay in your own your own car, your own lane, and in your own world." ~ Iyanla Vanzant

Love and Light,

Crystal E. Melville, M.A., CPC

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