Return to site

Wellness for Women Over 40 Series: Part 4

How to Balance Life: Motherhood, Career, Faith

· career,Faith,motherhood

When my eldest daughter Victoria turned twenty-one last week, I thought, wow, my how time flew by. I also wondered did I serve her well as her mother, role model, and teacher. Of course, as parents, we want to do it all, as in work outside of the home, stay healthy, and wealthy in mind, body, and, spirit. So, can you have it all? I say yes! It's all about aligning yourself with God's will and giving him your heart in all things. You see, we are His creation, His people, and His will is for us to be like Him: perfect in our ways, by His grace, through faith and trust in His will. Trust and believe, this life as we know it, isn't for the faint at heart, for, following Jesus isn't a storm free life, it's rather a changed life. As we encounter trials daily we must clearly see the opportunities to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 2:12).

As a young girl, I told my self that I wanted four children by the age of 30. Well, words are very powerful because I achieved that. Not that having children older is bad, I just thought that I wanted to be able to offer them my vigor, attention, and the child like side of me, if I were younger. I wanted to be able to grow with them, and I was blessed to do just that. The thing is, you don't get a heads up that people don't grow at the same pace, so when my children got older and their personalities developed, along with their adaptation to their outer stimuli which is very complex, based on family type, culture, and their own personal ethical system that channels how to and how not to react takes form, things got really difficult at times. Also, when you are doing your best and no one else seems to agree at first then years later say you did a good job, it makes you feel more and more ostracized. So being a mom on a mission may be a lonely road, it's important to know this.

As far as career choices go, I always to be a teacher or a nurse. Guess what? I did just that. I loved mentoring, and helping people get well, so I purposed to get training in both areas and did just what I wanted to do. So, it's not hard to venture into something you like. Just purpose to do it, read about the area, and do your research. Overall, the main goal as far as career training for me was to do something I felt I had a calling in. I completed nursing school in 2000, and worked as a licensed nurse up until an unexpected illness occurred which halted my nursing career. For ten years, thereafter I homeschooled my four children, whom are now very content, and prosperous young adults. I also became a Certified Life Coach, and took many other courses in other career fields such as Social Media Management, Marketing, Business Writing, Screenwriting, Transmedia Writing, Real Estate, Life, Health and Annuities Insurance, and countless others courses in American Law and Government. Overall, I consider myself to be a life learner. I learned purposefully, which enabled me to be laser focused, and offer me the ability to make sound decisions, even if it meant changing my mind about a venture, career path, or even a relationship that wouldn't allow me to accomplish my goals. The latter is very important. Being able to detect obstacles or hindrances and being bold enough to fight for what you want is a major key to success! #LessonsLearned

Later in life, God himself called me into ministry. One day I was listening to the Delilah Radio Show on iHeart Radio, and I heard her talk about her daughters enrolling at Liberty University, a reputable Christian University. I liked what I heard and saw, then the next thing I knew I was paying for my enrollment fee. I enrolled in 2008, on my eldest son's birthday, and I was able to spend five successful years there, acquiring a Graduate of Theology, a Bachelor of Science in Religion, and a Master's in Market Place Chaplaincy Ministries. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there, and would recommend this school to anyone considering a calling into ministry. If you want to have it all, all that is according to God's will for your life, you simply have to do life by His standards. It is imperative that you submit your life to Him as a reasonable service, in order to reap the benefits of His presence, favor, protection, and provision in all things. A personal relationship with God, through His Son Jesus Christ is the key to His kingdom, your eternal home. Just have faith!

Have a listen here to my enthusiasm as I experienced my first graduation in 2010, at Liberty University. ( I also graduated in 2011, and 2013) #ProudLibertyAlum

Note: Crystal James is my former name. Oh, and you will get to hear my native accent. They did get it wrong, I am from the U.S. Virgin Islands not the British Virgin Islands as indicated in the video package. I was born on the Island of St. Croix, which is the largest of the three islands. Incidentally, we are celebrating our 100th year as U.S. Citizens, on March 31, 2017. In 1917, the United States of America purchased the Danish West Indies Islands for 25,000,000 in gold coins. Today, the people enjoy rights as U.S. citizens by birth, and are allowed to cast a nomination for the president of the United States. Our islands are the "American Paradise." Don't believe me? Ask former Vice President Joe Biden, he frequently visits St. Croix, and refers to the islands his #1 vacation spot. Visit there sometime! As U.S. Citizens, all you need is your drivers license, but I would still have a passport, especially these days. WE are also proud to boast that our islands can be seen on HGTV via Farchette and Hanley Real Estate's partnership with them. The show is called, "Caribbean Life," Which airs every Sunday at 8:00 p.m. on HGTV. Check your local listings for timing schedule based on time zone. Go ahead, have a listen to my journey and aspirations below:

Thankfully, I have learned through trial and error, and many heart aches that it really doesn't matter what others think as long as you know that you are doing what pleases God, and what feels right to you. The key is to make decisions confidently and to learn to live with them. Hey, at least you make a decision. It's important to not be so hard on yourself. Particularly those who were without both parents, and responsible guides along the way. Life can be hard. People often become a product of their environment because no one tells them, they are worth a better lifestyle, which includes a peace of mind, support, protection, and unconditional love. If these needs are not met early on, a person can search their entire life looking for it, until a day of obsolescence , either one of deliverance or destruction. (James 1:8)

Finally, having balance in life, means that you are aware of yourself, your identity, and who is purposefully sustaining your life. This means in order to overcome ALL obstacles, you must be a born again believer in Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior, the Son of the living God, the Second person of the God-head, and creator of this world. You see, our origins are truly fundamental, and crucial to our growth and development. It is imperative that we seek this way of life early on in life. At some point, one must desire to know who they really are. It is important to be around people who can point you in the right direction. If you are lost, and feel you have no one to turn to, right now, cry out in faith, and ask Jesus to come into your heart, and He is just to answer and give you the desires of your heart. He is able, and is our all in all. Christ is our everything. He will provide for you, sustain you and carry you through life. (Hebrews 13:5-6)

A great place to start is by reading God's word daily, but not before praying for discernment. Develop a habit to reach out to God first before anything or anyone else. (Before you pick up your cellphone) He will set your day in order as long as you give your mind, body, and soul to Him. Get with a good company of people, hopefully it is your family who can encourage you in your walk, if not, it is not uncommon to be received well by strangers as opposed to your own family. (Matthew 13:57)

With the right mindset, coaching, and on going support one can maintain and experience a life of victory, and a transformative existence worth emulating. Leaving a legacy of love, faith, and hope, is the greatest inheritance you can leave for generations to come. Join me in helping individuals, families, and communities, by offering my coaching services for free! I only ask that each person seeking help, purchase a guide, here: to allow me to serve those in need of deliverance, knowledge of truth, an empathetic ear, and understanding. My sessions are 30 minutes at a time via email, phone, or SKYPE. With proof of purchase we can proceed at a time suitable for you!

Please share this post and let's get healthy for us, our children, our communities, and world. Let's be more, so we can live life and have it more abundantly. (John 10:10)

If you haven't already read my other post on wellness after 40, and on other important topics, you may do so, as well as take advantage of a tailored store just for you! I have specifically chosen products that work for me, and many other women during this time of life, or anytime you need support, relief and on-going maintenance. Check it out here:

Remember, if anyone asks you if you can have everything you desire in life, tell them yes, because God says so! #GodFirst

Love and Light,

Crystal E. Melville, M.A. CPC

All Posts

Almost done…

We just sent you an email. Please click the link in the email to confirm your subscription!